OK, so it appears that the template of Devin's blog has changed. The colors are different, the picture space holder which was supposed to host Devin's baby photo is gone, the lily pad which tells us how old Devin is now missing...but Allison is asleep, and I'm not going to bug her about it now. But I'm clearly out of the loop on this. I did not get the memo. Devin hasn't even mentioned this, despite the hours in the car we spend together EVERY FREAKIN' DAY.
Well, I know FULL WELL what's going on. My supposed life of normalcy has been a sham. I've been fed, groomed, and plumped up so that I could eventually become...
...A FEAST FOR THE ARACHNIDS! I *knew* that occasional spittle from Devin wasn't just thrown-up milk...he was trying to spin me into a cocoon!
But that's OK...I'll find a way out. I just have to keep myself from looking like Borat so my son (the human snatcher pod) won't be able to recognize me.
Devin enjoyed the flamingos because he'd only seen them in books.
Devin's favorite was the elephant and we spent a lot of time here. Most of the time we watched her, she turned her back to us so she could rub her butt against the tree trunk to scratch an itch. The kids were all awestruck. Then she peed, and all the kids started shrieking with excitement.
Daddy and Devin watching the gibbons swinging in their cage. Daddy and Mama taught Devin all about the evolutionary functions of brachiation and opposable thumbs. You know, since we were both Anthropology majors in college. Then Mama got worked up about bipedalism and the evolutionary constriction of the human pelvis and birth canal alongside the growth in human heads (is she *still* bitter about that?). The primates that call themselves creationists who were within earshot started feeling uncomfortable with the conversation.
Daddy thinks there is a joke to be made about this photo. Do not make that joke.